You Know You're A Lifeguard When...

Summer months; those endless carefree days of adventure and exploration... Or that's how it is for some people. For others, the summer is simply those 3 months when the kids are outside 'til all hours' and it might not rain as much as it does for the other 9 months of the year (although this year it rained more than it does in January if you ask me) This summer I decided to actually make myself useful and get a job. Adventuring into the world of 'responsibility' took it's toll when getting up at 7am for work destroyed your sleep-till-10am-in-the-summer policy. Don't get me wrong! It wasn't all bad, I mean I was getting paid. 

So, I hear you ask, what is this job she refers to? Well, I spent my days sitting in 35 degree heat, beside a pool, watching people break every pool rule in existence - lifeguarding. You'd be surprised how many times you have to tell somebody to stop diving in a pool so they don't crack their head off the bottom! 

I got the job at the start of the crazy summer months, a goal I had been working towards for many years. Swimming has always been my great escape to the deep blue, leaving behind any niggling fears or worries. However, when I realised that lifeguarding was the complete opposite, it was quite a shocking discovery. Sitting on a high chair for hours on end with only your thoughts for company, leads you to lose any sort of critical thinking. I personally resort to playing long piano pieces repeatedly in my mind while my fingers tap out the melody. While others prefer to pack their suitcases for their upcoming trip abroad, going through each individual sock in their mind, and some prefer to sing songs out loud despite the odd stares from the bathers. While cleaning isn't my favourite past-time, when boredom sets in after 5 hours, anything will be attempted to pass the time and prevent the inevitable insanity that would ensue.

For years, lifeguarding has been presented to the population as a glamorous job (I blame Baywatch). The job title is met with "Ohhhh that sounds so cool" or "Do you get to wear a swimsuit all day?" Just to clear up the second question, no. No I don't walk around a swimming pool all day in a red swimsuit carrying a torpedo buoy. (not everything is like the movies) People view a lifeguard from the outside, watching them staring at the water or pacing up and down the deck, constantly watching. However, what they don't see is the strong unity among the team. Working together constantly, recognising any unusual actions or gestures. As cheesy as it may sound, I've made some great friendships along the way.

Honestly, you would be surprised by the crazy things people attempt to do in a swimming pool. I mean, half of these stunts don't even exist on the 'Swimming Pool Rules' sign. For example, when you attempt to clarify why someone can't do a backflip into a pool 1m in depth full of children, you're usually met with a round of 'why not's?' and 'I'll be careful'. At times I'm often attempted to reply with a simple "I will kill you if you don't kill someone else first", but we all know that would breech the boundary between worker and customer. Let's not forget about all those people who like to 'play dead', if you could all just do that somewhere else that would be great thanks. I've lost count of the hours I've spent shouting at kids to stop running, only to watch them slip and slide along the deck with a look of utter horror on their faces as if they had no idea such a thing was possible. And as for the kids who shout 'help' for the craic... don't even get me started on those. But, the best kids are the ones who look around to see if you're watching them, right before they attempt to do something they know is against the rules.

The truth about it is this; being a lifeguard is not easy. There's no other way about it. Despite the amount of crazy people we have to deal with on a regular day, there are also some lovely people who reduce the boredom levels for a while. You might even meet the odd toddler who decides you're their new best friend! Sure you could say everyday is the same, sitting in the same seat, watching the same pool, rotating at the same time... but everyday you'll be met with different people and various challenges. 

So below are a list of ways on how to survive as a lifeguard;

1. Try not to get too angry at someone - even if you've blown the whistle at them 100 times

2. NEVER forget your water bottle

3. Find an air vent, it's your new best friend

4. Watch out for those people who like 'playing dead' - they're sneaky 

5. Don't twirl your whistle despite absolute boredom, there's a strong chance it'll fly into the pool or onto a bather's head             

6. Slides are the bane of a lifeguard's job - enough said

7. Don't have a shower before shift, it's a waste of time

8. Sometimes you won't recognise people outside the pool fully dressed, believe me, it happens...